Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Freaking Out

We're getting a little honest here, today, at crynfiction: a little "nonfiction-y" if you will...

I've been battling, lately, in my mind between what I know about God's faithfulness--from both His Word and from personal experience--and looking at the seemingly impossible circumstances around me.  Actually, now that I think about it, I feel a little bit like the apostle Peter, who trusting in Jesus stepped outside of the safety of the boat and walked on the water toward Him, but then taking His eyes off of Jesus, he saw the wind and the waves around him and became afraid and started to sink.  There is no point in asking "why do we keep doing this?" because, we will always have a choice to either trust in the Lord or to lean upon what we understand.  Doubts will always arrive.  It is inevitable, both because we are imperfect people and as I Peter 5:8 says, "[...]because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom be may devour."  The more profitable question then to ask is, "What does God's word say?"  This is the word that I have been meditating on during this time of uncertainty and transition.  This time of blind obedience when I don't know how the thing being asked of me can be accomplished.  I have posted this Scripture before, but it can never grow old or ineffective.

"Oh LORD, You have searched me
and known me,
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

For you formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them,
They would e more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You."
{Psalm 139:1-18}

This is truth.  He is truth.  I rest in Him.  Over and over again, I put my trust in Him and rest. (Then I get up and freak out, so I have to go back and rest in Him again.  Over and over.) And that, my friends, is life.  Eh?

Thank you for reading and reminding me of the things I have written already of God's faithfulness in seemingly impossible situations in my life before!  You encourage me!  Thanks for stopping by.


Mallorie said...

Corynne, I love you. Thanks for reminding us all of this.


I LOVE YOU! It was so fun hangin out with you! You and your family are such a blessing!!!!