So in that spirit I boarded a train the other day--feeling as if the whole world was watching me in interest. I was catching BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) into the city--all by myself--to meet my love and feeling so official, and grown up, and cool and stuff. The train was packed--standing room only--so there I stood, hanging on to one of the rails and trying to act nonchalant. I saw some cool scenery and decided to take a picture. While my camera was out, I noticed my reflection and I just love taking pictures of reflections, so I snapped off a couple of shots when suddenly a horrible realization swept over me and kind of took my breath away: I was not a cool, hip, grown up person that people were admiring at all! I was still my 12 year old self on that ferry boat to Catalina Island. The one where I had struck up a conversation with a kind old man and at the end of the trip he told my mom what a very nice son she had. I clearly remember wearing a flannel and a horrible baseball cap that day with bluntly cut, shoulder length hair. Not so different from my ensemble today... Today I was older, with a little more of a chest, but still looking no more than 16 years old with my hair pulled back in a bun and stuck through the hole of a surf hat. Jeans, boots, a grey t-shirt, and a blue jacket/sweater thing completed the outfit. The only difference today was, the kind man I was talking to on this train wasn't quite as old as the one on the ferry. Try as I might, I'm still the same old person who is just as likely to be mistaken for a boy today as I was back then. Truthfully, I kind of laughed at myself in that moment. It was a good dose of reality. "You are not living in a movie, Corynne. You are simply standing on a train looking slightly dopey, but having a great time. Enjoy the moment. Sheesh! No one else can enjoy it for you by watching it."
